Top 5 idiotic questions to ask your web designer and SEO consultant
I have been too busy to write posts in a while and just for giggles and to take formality off technicalities, i’m gonna tell you the top 5 idiotic questions to ask your web designer or SEO consultant. For those of you who have asked these questions before, please take this article with a pinch of salt.
Top 5 Idiotic/daft/irritating questions to ask your web designer
1) “Hi abc! I think the completed site looks great! However can we just change the nav bar, logo, banner and if you see the bottom frame width, i’d like to widen it by an inch and a half and make it glow! like a spaceship… Thanks i think that’s about it… ONLY those changes…”
2) ” Hi abc! Can you go to http://www.zoukclub.com/main.php … Can you see the moving thing? YA!!! I really like that… Can we change the design you did for our company to be moving like that? If you cannot put the music, it’s okay…. I only want moving picture.. Thanks!”
3) “Hi abc! Can you go to http://www.nike.com/index.jhtml#l=nikehome&re=US&co=US&la=EN … You see the font on the top right corner? Can you change all my font to be the same, because i think it may attract more visitors. That’s why nike is so big now, hor?”
4) “Hi abc! Can i enquire… honestly i don’t really like the colors used. I didn’t really mean “anything” when i said “up to you”. Please get it changed. My preferred colors are… actually I’m not really sure, i’ll really leave it up to you. I trust you… just get it changed, please.”
5) “Hi abc! I’m sure you’ve been to an airport right? Remember seeing those nice red words scrolling up down left right in an electronic board? Exactly.. I want those scrolling text ALL OVER my page. That would make me stand out!”
Top 5 Idiotic/daft/irritating questions to ask your SEO consultant
1) “Hi abc! You said ‘effecient job’. It has been 1 bloody week i’ve waited !!! Where are my rankings!?! ”
2) “Hi abc! you obvioiusly know by now we are a second hand car distributor. Well, after your SEO work, i went to Google and typed in ”car”. I only saw MERCEDES and BMW and AUDI on top. Please drop me an email and tell me if i’m searching wrongly. I’m pretty sure it was HTTP://WWW.GOOGLE.COM”
3) “Hi abc! why can SEO be so costly? correct if i’m wrong, but i saw a $17.99 Ebook online saying it can do the same work you produce.”
4) “Hi abc! I’m thrilled with your SEO campaign! Its going great. Our sales have statistically beefed up a staggering 55%! My husband got so excited he went home and we thought we’d do you a favour… We submitted our site you’re working on to 100 000 directiries and FFA sites. And would you believe? I only paid $12.99! What-a-deal!”
5) “Hi abc! I don’t think i need Search Engine Optimisation services. You see abc, I’m already 1st place in Google Yahoo Msn,Alta Vista, AOL for my key-phrase:
‘Michelle Brandiga Soleo Di Mini’s cat-fur embroidered shawls’
thanks anyway abc.”
p.s If it’s Sunday afternoon and your kids are playing themselves and you’ve nothing to do, call your consultant up and ask them these questions, it’s a good chance you’ll get a discount.
Hi
Your blog is very informative n helpful .. thanks…..keep it up.
Comment by seema on July 24, 2008http://www.seostep.net